Does the love go out the window when kids enter the door? A misconception for most to be parents and something most parents are concerned about! When we did basic research on this with friends and family, found some great insights. Revive your relations brings you one more topic you wanted to talk more about! Read on to find out how to re-ignite the spark even after children.
Source : wallpaper-gallery
For a kick start it is a good idea to accept that you both need to start making conscious efforts towards rekindling the love. After the kids arrive it gets extremely difficult to manage work, other things, the house with the romance. The tension keeps building to an extent that you both are at all times filled to the brim, even a small thing is enough to tick you off and blow it into a huge fight. Though you will realise that the fight was uncalled for you will not even find the time to sit across the table and sort the differences. Amidst all the negatives there also are moments that make it all feel worth it, like a moment where you find your lady asleep with the baby or the time when you are just about to get into an argument and the child comes up with a silly question with those big innocent shiny eyes at both of you; making you forget the fight or anything else that might be bothering you. Another thing a child brings, is the feeling of missing each other.
Source : images.all-free-download
Since this feeling is not an everyday thing, its the best time to bank on it. We found a few must-try ideas for you and maybe you’d like to suggest these to your parents too.
- Music/TV/Entertainment: in most new parents we spoke to, they said all we need sometimes is to simply listen to music together or surf TV channels randomly. Many parents do not even realise how they went from listening to rock bands to lullabys, one of our friend actually had Old Mac Donald had a farm as her caller tune and ringtone because the kids loved it! So remember the music you loved and craved fro, pick out some favourite old cd’s and once you have tucked in the kids grab some beer, or some wine kick back and enjoy the music that makes you both happy!
- The power of touch: We found many relationship experts saying if you hold hands while having an important discussion, the other person feels more receptive and is more likely to hear you out. Many times we don’t realize how badly we need a hug, a long passionate kiss or simple cuddle time. With all your energy drained out running behind the kids and completing other tasks you shouldn’t have to wait for date night to get intimate. Even if you don’t have the energy for some action it is very comforting to just sleep into each others arms. A new mom told us how much she loves being held by her man at night, it makes all the crying and pooping and shouting and working feel like its complete;y worth it when hes there to hold her close. So whether or not the kids are around do more of hand holding, forehead kisses, back rubs, massages, hugs when you leave or return home. It will feel like you have more of each other even with the little time.
- Recognition: After having a child or children it is the easiest to take each other for granted or feel like the other person is never doing enough. Fights happen so easily on topics like you are never here to see the baby, or the baby is more attached to you, or that you don’t put in efforts the way i do, or how much either of the partners miss their freedom. In such a place only acknowledgement and some recognition. Statements like “Thanks for the lovely dinner” You look great tonight” can go a long way in boosting your partners morale. At the end all we need to do is keep the love alive, and stay happy together.
Having your own child, is more than just giving birth to another one it is creating and nourishing a new life, in this process we must not lose the person who gave us this chance of bringing up a new life. Never undervalue. Keep the faith.
If twos company then three is family.