At Revive your Relations it seemed to us when we spoke of Love, attachment, parenting, being hurt, how can we neglect the most undeniable aspect of human nature – The want for Revenge.
He spoiled your reputation at office, spoiled your relationship with your boss, she made your lover believe that you are not a loyal person, your spouse chose someone over you, your parents dint treat you right, etc. Various reasons lead to the feeling of wanting to punish somebody. Revenge is to harm someone in return of something ill meaning that they did to you or someone you love. No amount of definitions can put across the exact feeling of vengeance, resentment, anger and unhappiness. Dozens of books, movies and TV shows are solely based on this human emotion. Revenge brings out the worst in us.
The flip side of the same coin is ‘Forgiveness’ it means to pardon, let go of something that somebody did knowing or unknowingly to harm or hurt you. To forgive completely implies to whole heartly granting an apology and moving on from the thing that hurt you. Most religions of the world include forgiveness as one of their major teachings. From the jews to the jains to the hindu in india have days dedicated to apologising to every person they might have sinned and start with a fresh slate, as part of praying and meditating to purify their soul!
One of the most painful things that humans are ideally expected to do is to react to evil with kindness. To forgive those who do the unforgivable. We admire the stories we hear of people who forgive those who did them wrong, people who gave love even when they were presented only hatred; but when that situation comes to ourselves we are stuck in suffering with anger, depression, questions and misery! We are not in a position to distinguish wrong from right and in that moment all we want, is to see that person hurting exactly the way we are. However difficult it may seem study after study shows that people who are forgiving live a longer happier life than the ones who keep track of their grudges and believe in plotting a revenge.
Nothing inspires forgiveness, like revenge; words said by Scott Adams made us sit up and think that though the ideal and politically right thing to say is to be forgiving, but can we on real terms just forgive somebody and let them walk away after making us feel this way? Can we just to be a bigger person forgive and forget the misery we went through small or big? If he hadn’t stolen the credit at the office you might have been promoted, had she not cheated on you with her gym trainer wouldn’t you be such a happy person today who still believed in love and trusted women? Keeping all the researches and correct things aside, everyone who has been hurt knows how bad it felt and how hard they wished their revenge would be.
So here is the thing, what if we told you something that you must have read a hundred times but never really paid heed to heed. What if we said that yes revenge should be served hard and cold! Revenge will be a lesson the wrong doer needs to learn and a place where he/she would never commit such a thing again. We are talking about sweet revenge, meaning that which does not take us as low in humanity as they are.
If you built up all that anger and do something more productive than just sulking or abusing in the head wont it be better. Let’s use up all that energy to work on ourselves, if I start working-out with full force and then when she bumps into me and accidentally feels my strong muscles or notices my hot new avatar she sure is going to regret every moment of being unfaithful; if I work so hard that i get promoted or get a better paying job in less time than anybody else wouldn’t that co worker feel pathetic about him/herself. Similarly it is safe to say that if we make ourselves our one and only priority not only will the person start feeling affected because we stop caring but also suffer in the regret and sadness that our success will bring to them.
Try it out: Take the revenge route, focus on yourself and wait for Karma. Karma has its way of ruining people with exactly what they did to others. Let’s not do something on purpose to hurt anybody you know we have Karma on our backs too!
P.S: Most of us have figured that nothing hurts as much as indifference, the wrong doer will go insane trying to understand what gave you so much strength; and if it doesn’t affect him/her that much then why should it matter to you, you are already indifferent right?
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