Every relationship must be a special bond between two equals, Gone are the days where the man was expected to be the dominating partner, where as the woman was supposed to be the submissive. People who are scared to be themselves in a relation are essentially scared of breaking the bond itself.
The only Fair way of creating and maintaining a healthy bond is to keep in mind the following golden principles.
Number One: Have An Opinion.
Compatibility doesn’t mean having to agree with everything your partner says, It looks staged and not real, sometimes annoying when two people agree on everything. One of the most important quality that people look for in their to-be-partners is that he/she must have a mind of their own. Yes men can also be deemed as people who are incapable of making decisions on their own.
This principle does not imply that a couple should be at constant loggerheads, instead it just says that you must have the confidence to be yourself and to create an atmosphere where you can talk about a difference of opinion. You don’t need a pet, you need a partner.
Number Two: Groom Yourself.
There are no second chances in making a first impression. It is only human to judge a book by its cover, while at the first date stage this is a make or break level quality. After a few dates if your lady still takes time out to look her best, its only fair that you look presentable for her too. Clean up nicely for her, looking good does not mean looking perfect; it only means being comfortable in yourself, well groomed and wearing the right attire that flatters your body.
Investing time in grooming yourself for all dates pays back in various ways, you’ll never be disappointed if there is an impromptu make out session, nor will you be panicked if her parents drop by to say ‘hello’ some day . You do not want to be caught at anything less than the best. Plus the brownie points that hygiene get you are almost as high as the ones she gives you when you get her flowers!
Number Three: Love Just Aint Enough.
As the lyrics of a popular American song go ‘Sometimes love just aint enough’ stand true for most couples. The answer to ‘How to fix a relationship’ lies in the ability to build a safe space in a relation where you not only see each others best, but also work with each other in the worst. A healthy relationship is a result of immense patience and perseverance. At the end of it all you should be able to share a laugh together. During rough patches, the rose tinted heady feeling of being in love goes out the window, at such times you need to work calmly and remember this is the person you chose to share yourself with and ups & downs are part of the deal. The moment you stop wanting that enthusiasm to last forever is the moment you will choose the person over that heady feeling.
That way you will never drift apart and always feel exactly the way you felt in the beginning.
Number Four: Live And Let Live.
A world famous saying by the father of India, Mahatma Gandhi “Live and Let Live” was derived in various situations in various ways. In our case giving each other the space to also lead personal lives is what the key is. It helps partners maintain an identity of them outside the relationship as well. Giving space does not mean letting go it can mean something as simple as allowing boys night outs or spending a day only with your girl friends.
It not only helps you practice some trust but also gives both the persons a chance to miss each other!
Number Five: Believe.
They say trust is the foundation of any relationship. We say if only you can believe in the emotion you share for each other trusting will come effortlessly. You should be able to talk to your partner about how you feel emotionally and physically. To believe is trusting your partner more than just the loyalty part, it means giving them the place to be themselves within the relationship.
Let go, if your bond is strong enough the relationship will last.
Everyone wants a healthy, understanding, loving, relationship and like everything else in the world that is worth aspiring for; this too needs some work.
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