What is an abusive Relationship:
Many people wrongly believe that abusive relationships mean those where physical violence and harassment is involved. Many people are harrowed, and emotionally abused without even realising that they are part of a serious crime! It might not lead to burns or wounds but definitely gives mental scars that stay longer.
Any relationship where one feels undervalued, disrespected, bullied, taunted, insulted or criticized can be termed as emotional abuse. Whereas physically abusive relationships are anything from pushes, punches, kicks slaps etc. Its very convenient to believe that such things happen to others, its the stuff we hear in the news and watch in the films. So how do we ever land up in such a situation? An abusive person can be extremely manipulative, the victim will be made to feel very loved and appreciated in the beginning and then the slope begins with a one off fight which then turns into a regular abusive session.
One’s intuition is the highest clue seeker but in case you are wondering if you are stuck in one, the Revive your Relations team researched top 5 signs of a potential abuser:
Break your comfort zone:
Potential abusers are very persuasive they will subtly ask you to start doing things differently, like if you would always inform your parents about your where about they start asking you not to, or if you dress in a particular way they may suggest an alternative in a nice way of course. This how they start controlling.
Sense of control begins to increase. At first the abuser may comment on the clothes you wear, making slightly critical remarks. Next they start suggesting what they think you’d look good in. After that you get a feeling that you need to dress to please them. At some point an abuser’s mood-changes and they begin to dictate things. You might be baffled by the sudden change of pitch/tone a lot of times but they always make excuses for their bad behaviour. The abuser will say they ‘had a bad day’, that they ‘didn’t mean to get angry’, and might even apologize.
No family or friends:
A potential abuser will work on slowly isolating you from friends and family. At first they might say things like they don’t think your friends approve of them. Eventually they’ll turn the tables and say that they don’t really like your friends. Or they might blame your family saying that they make them feel not welcome, not wanted. As time goes on you’ll see less of your family and friends to keep your partner happy or simply to maintain peace.
The reason is you:
In the beginning apologies might be expressed, later somehow everything wrong becomes wrong because of you, your shortcomings, the infinite blame game begins. He’ll say its your fault that this happened, even if it was a physical assault they might say that you upset them so much that’s what lead them to this situation.
The last nail in the coffin:
When you start doubting yourself, when you actually think of yourself as someone less deserving or the one always at fault is when your mind is thoroughly been harassed, you need to step out and give things a real thought at this point more than ever. If you start losing faith in yourself.
A person who gives you too much in too little time, then starts taking control over your life and it becomes a pattern for your fights which end in you apologizing and he taking a good shot at your self esteem it’s time to walk away and let go. Many of those who emerge from abusive relationships suffer PTSD [post-traumatic stress disorder] symptoms that must be dealt with. You know you deserve better. We all do. Sometimes you should not revive your relation you must revive yourself out of one.
Image credit: Google